Notices and Advertisements – 1 of 3

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All during my life I’ve observed death and destruction. My mother died when I was eight years old, my father when I was seventeen. I was poor, nay destitute. Family, friends and mentors continually helped pull me out of the morass of deep, dark depression that followed. I felt hopelessness in that situation that confused, impeded and trapped me. My wish to go on further in life was at a end. Dead-ended with a lack of opportunities for higher education or advancement in life at 17 years old ~ I don’t think so.

My grandmother, gave me unforgettable inspirations. One was to develop and maintain a true sense of humour, for myself. Although I had never been able to make up jokes, nor tell them in any meaningful way, that is continually changing. When I was seventeen my Uncle Jack gave me a 35mm camera, for my very own. There is so much that I can do now: last Friday, August 30, 2013 I went to a children’s petting zoo to take photographs of animals and children, my great-grand children’s age. This was for an artistic project that I am working on. The children’s squeals of delight and glee are one way to help us old folks get lifted up out of the blues. And, there is so much more out there, just for the asking. For example the following series is from “Anonymous” (I have broken it into three parts).

Notices and Advertisements– 1 of 3 (for Tuesday, September 3, 2013)

Notices and Advertisements – 2 of 3 (for Tuesday, September 10, 2013)

Notices and Advertisements – 3 of 3 (for (Tuesday, September 17, 2013)  – FINAL, THIS SERIES

The following Notices and Advertisements are certainly “Questionable” in more ways than one. I am sure that many of the readers of these will not grasp their original intent.

Off we go then , , , , , , ,

1 Notice in a Laundry in Rome.
LADIES, WHY NOT LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

2: Notice in a Laundry in England

PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN YOU HAVE FINISHED.

3: A Junk Mail Advertisement:

BRAILLE DICTIONARY FOR SALE. MUST BE SEEN TO BE APPRECIATED.

4: Another Junk Mail Advertisement:

MOTIVATION TAPES FOR SALE. NEVER BEEN USED.

5: Notice in a Dry Cleaners, Bangkok:

DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR SOME FANTASTIC RESULTS.

6: Notice in a Tokyo Hotel

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING THINGS IN BED

7: Advertisement in a French Newspaper

ALL OUR BEDROOMS ARE PROVIDED WITH FRENCH WIDOWS

8: Notice in a French Hotel.

OUR ROOMS ARE SPOTTYLESS (sp?) A CHAMBER MAID WILL DO YOU ONCE A DAY.

9: Advertisement seen on a Welsh Farm Gate

TWENTY ONE YEAR OLD LAYING HENS FOR SALE.

10 Advertisement for Donkey Rides (Donkey’s are sometime also called ‘Ass’ *) in Thailand:

COME AND ENJOY A RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS

11: Seen on a Hospital Notice Board

IT IS OUR POLICY TO DO OUR UTMOST TO SEE PATIENTS IN AGONIZING PAIN AS SOON AS WE POSSIBLY CAN.

12: Seen on a Poster in France:

ARE YOU SOMEONE WHO IS BLIND OR CANNOT READ (IE: Illiterate)? IF SO, SEE ALL THE DETAILS BELOW, BECAUSE WE CAN HELP YOU.

13: Notice in a Bangkok Temple:

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

14: Notice In a Cocktail Lounge, Norway:

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

15: Notice in a Doctors office, Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

16: Notice in a Nairobi Restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

17: Warning Notice on the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

18: Notice in a City restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND ALSO AT WEEK-ENDS.

19: Notice in a Cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

20: Seen on the menu in a Swiss Restaurant

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

21: Notice seen in a Tokyo Bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR LADIES WITH NUTS.

22: Notice in a Hotel in Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

23:: Notice in a Hotel in Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

24: Notice in a Moscow Hotel:

“YOU REALLY MUST VISIT OUR FAMOUS RUSSIAN CEMETERY, RIGHT OPPOSITE OUR HOTEL WHERE FAMOUS SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT ON THURSDAYS.

25: Also in a Moscow Hotel:

“YOU REALLY MUST ALSO VISIT OUR BIG CATHEDRAL, NEXT TO THE CEMETERY. AS YOU ENTER YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY STRUCK BY THE HUGE DOOR”.

26: Notice in Germany‘s Black Forest:

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX (FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN) TO LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

27: Notice in a Hotel in Zurich:

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOMS, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

28: IN A CHILDREN’S ZOO (A PETTING ZOO) IN ENGLAND, NOTICES ARE DISPLAYED ON THE VARIOUS PENS:

For the Zebra: “You can Kiss my Zebra”, For the Goat: ”You can kiss my Goat”, For the Pony: “You can Kiss my Pony”, For the Donkey: “You can Kiss my Donkey:” * , , , , , , , ,GOTCHA !!!

29: Notice in a Zoo in England

THE CROCODILES WILL BE FED AT 2:15 P.M. DO BRING YOUR CHILDREN.

* Asinus, a subgenus of Equus that includes the donkey and other asses

  • Donkey, Equus africanus asinus

– Continued next Tuesday – 2 of 3 – for Tuesday, September 10, 2013 –

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2 Responses to “Notices and Advertisements – 1 of 3”


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